What I Learned Stepping Back From Horse Showing

Some may think it would be a loss to take a major step back from the show ring in the manner I have the last 4 years.

I grew up showing and competing horses a lot. So much of my energy with horses was spent fixating on every which way to prep for competition and be in the ribbons.

In the process, I lost a lot of the part of me that first got into horses for the sheer enjoyment of the horse.

Where I could enjoy the little things and there wasn’t so much pressure and stress on having everything “just so” for competition.

The pressure of it all made it easier to get frustrated with my horse when he didn’t comply, just like I was taught by role models.

It made me perpetually insecure, feeling that my value as a rider was in my ability to prove it in the show ring.

I lost SO much from that mindset.

I lost the amount of compassion for the horse that I had as a child first getting into riding.

I lost the relaxed days spent hanging out with horses with no focus on riding.

I lost self esteem and identity, pressured to conform by so many different outside forces, often viewing there to be no other options when it came to how I was taught to view training and horse care.

In setting that aside — I have gained so much.

I have been able to let go of pent up stress and chronic burnout in a way that would’ve not been possible prior.

I have learned to develop a sense of self that isn’t reliant on other people valuing me or caring about what I have to say.

I have learned to enjoy horses and the “little” things like watching them graze on a beautiful summer night, just listening to the sounds. No expectations.

I have gained more patience. Better emotional regulation.

I’ve learned how to more readily look at the bigger picture, rather than searching for immediate fixes.

I have learned to value horses in a way I couldn’t before. I’ve realized that there’s more to them than riding. That there’s more to riding than focusing on competition.

I’ve learned to accept the potential realities that I might not ride certain horses ever again and realized I can take a step back to give them the time I need and accept the outcome, regardless of what it is.

In the process, I’ve learned to appreciate horses so much more.

I am fortunate just to have my horses around as my friends.

Riding them is a fun bonus.

Heck, maybe one day I’ll ever show again.

But, I’ll do it on my terms.

I won’t do it if I feel overwhelmed, too busy, don’t have the finances or simply don’t feel like it.

I don’t have anything to prove anymore because how I show up for horses now is really just about trying to find homeostasis and exist in harmony with my horses.

To provide them with the best life that I can.

To journey through life together, as companions, and true partners in a way I hadn’t really been able to offer them for so much of my riding career.

In doing so, I’ve freed myself.

I’ve released shackles that for a very long time, I hadn’t realized were there.

It’s still a continuous journey but the amount of peace I’ve been able to find within it speaks for itself.

No one else has to believe me because I feel it.

And it has taken me a very long time to get to that level of acceptance and assurance within the horse world.

Offering my horses a life of more freedom and autonomy has brought that to my own life.

Human stress and horse stress are linked.

The horse world, I think, will be all the more healthier on all accounts if the type of environment that fosters peace in horses is created.

Naturally, I feel like we regulate alongside them.

At least, that was the case with me.

Horses have taught me an awful lot.

I’m so thankful for all that I’ve learned from them and will continue to learn. ❤️

Photography by Carleen Giesler.

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