The Head Start Most Equestrians Don't Realize They Have

Picture yourself when you’re young and naive, full of that raw desire and burning “want” to be something in the horse world. You soak up everything you can in lessons, you read books about horses and fully immerse yourself in everything horsey, with the dream of becoming a better equestrians. Perhaps, your dreams are ambitious and you hope to go to the Olympics one day, or maybe, you want to be a professional trainer once you’ve established yourself as a well-rounded, knowledgeable rider. Now, picture yourself with all of that love for horses, that raw desire and a want so bad it hurts your soul… But, without the money to ride. Without the support to ride. Lacking something crucial that would connect you enough with the horse world to even start to achieve those big dreams. The heavy, stabbing pain of so much wanting but knowing it is just but a pipedream. This is the reality of many equestrians or those who want, more than anything, to be involved in the horse world and simply can’t. I want to discuss this as the pain of wanting something so badly that it encapsulates my whole being is something I am not unfamiliar with. Even still, I also was privy to the head start that many equestrians reap the benefits of while remaining entirely unaware of that fact. I want to discuss the head starts that allowed me to get ahead and also, head starts I never received and how the awareness of how much more simple things would be if I’d had them plagued me (and sometimes, still does).

I started horseback riding lessons at the age of 4. An incredibly young age to start out and at the time, I had no idea of just how fortunate I was. I just knew I loved horses. My life revolved around them even prior to taking riding lessons. I drew horses, I wrote stories about horses, I read about horses, I asked about horses, I played with model horses. In fact, basically every project I could relate to horses in preschool and elementary school was about horses. The obsession was to the point that many teachers tried to help me take interest in other things, worried that my persistence in all things horses may make my path narrow and not allow me to experience other things. Didn’t work. Anyways, my ability to start riding at 4 was entirely reliant on my parents’ ability to provide that for me. Such support is largely financial, but also emotionally. They had to allow me to start the lessons. They had to be willing to pay for them and to continue to do so. And they did, for quite sometime. But, a 4 year old cannot provide for themselves. Without that support, who knows, maybe my love for horses would’ve dissipated over the years that the harsh wanting never was satiated. My ability to ride for my entire youthful years was reliant on parental support. That is a fact and that is the reality of any young rider who started prior to a time where they could actually get a job that made enough to support it. Without the support of some other person who could fund your dreams, or take the time out their day to teach you themselves, provide you with a horse and so on and so forth, without that, you would not have been able to ride.

Even as my life started to get harder, following my father having a massive stroke that nearly killed him and my family having all of their savings embezzled by a trusted (but clearly untrustworthy, we now know) familial advisor, I still reaped the benefits of my many head starts. Even through hardship, I was given head start after head start whilst many of my peers ran behind me in a much slower race, weighted down by the shackles of circumstance. My parents bought me my first horse. He was a very nice horse, not a cheap one. The money that purchased said horse, to many families, would have been extremely useful for buying the necessities, like a car. But, my family could do it, so they did. I started doing small jobs, helping around the barn to help contribute towards board around the age of 11, but said work was infrequent, easy and didn’t pay much. It hardly took off the burden of the expense of boarding a horse and paying to get lessons and training. It sure as heck did not even begin to fund the shows that I attended. At 14, as soon as I was able to, I got a “real” job at a local smoothie shop to help pay for more of my horse. Still, I was able to get financial help, at least in part, from my mother. It would be another couple of years before the weight of the responsibility of covering my horse’s expenses would rest on my shoulders.

My ability to take lessons from a young age and own a horse allowed me to develop as a rider quicker. It gave me the essential skills that later allowed me to offer people exercise rides on their horses for free, to start to build the references and clientele that led to the start of Milestone Equestrian. Without the many years of lessons that allowed me to hone the necessary riding skills to provide the services I do now, there is absolutely no way I would be where I am today, even if I worked hard and pushed myself to the bone. This is the problem with suggesting that hard work will overcome all boundaries. In some cases, it might, but for many, the obstacles in their path are too much to progress at the rate they need to. It can be risky, stressful and disheartening to try to chase a dream that is always just out of your grasp..

The point of this post is to try to kindly say that people being aware of privilege and in some cases, even pointing it out, is not an attack on how hard you may have worked to land some of the opportunities you have received or develop further as a rider. It is to encourage people to be thoughtful and understanding of the struggles of others and realize that if the path is cleared for you by way of immense financial support, it is a lot less stressful to take the path to success. For an example, growing up in a very affluent area, many of my friends had their first cars purchased for them by their parents or given a hand-me-down car from the family. This meant they never had to account for the cost of purchasing a car. I did. That took money out of the bank that could have been put towards other things. Similarly, many people had their university tuition covered by their parents, at least in part, once again, this made it a lot less daunting for said people to decide to attend school, not having to shell out thousands of their own money to go or take out loans and become in debt. Even in cases where people were loaned money by family that they later had to pay back, they were still able to take out said loans, oftentimes with little to no interest rate. This, in itself, is a privilege, even if you have to work hard to pay it back. All of these things make life easier, give you less things to worry about, thereby more time to dedicate to pursuing your passions and chasing your goals.

The horse world takes privilege to an extreme. It is “normal” to see people dropping tens of thousands of dollars on horses. This always mystifies me because I cannot wrap my head around how people can just pay for a luxury animal outright with that amount of money. Unlike a car, there aren’t as many financing options. The ability to be able to do that is an immense privilege and it most definitely garners a head start. On top of this, show fees are not attainable to the average person without support from family. To show on the circuit and pursue it to the degree needed to eventually attain the ultimate dream of going to the Olympics, you need a lot of money. Sure, you can get sponsors, but generally speaking, sponsors do not come forward until you have already established yourself and doing so takes, you guessed it, a lot of money. Accessibility in the horse world really does not exist, the circumstances you were born into can almost entirely define your capabilities of ascending to a certain level, but for whatever reason, a lot of people like to try to sweep this under the rug and insist “hard work is all it takes.”

My talented $400 rescue has been a challenge and taken years to produce. Going clear in the .90m at Thunderbird is like the Olympics for us.

Hard work is relative. To some, hard work is going to school and juggling school work along with multiple lessons a week to train for the string of shows they will be going to throughout the show season. They often do not have to worry about funding this all by themselves and can thereby dedicate more time to both riding and school due to not having to work an excessive amount of horses to earn said money. They still work hard and their talent is relevant, but it is a different type of hard work than someone trying to do school, riding and working many hours to try to pay the fees to participate in the first place. This is why it is problematic to play it off as success being as simple as working hard. Some people have so many barriers that slow down their ability to achieve things that come more easily to others, so many, in fact, that they simply cannot work harder than they already are to overcome them. Implying hard work is all it takes discredits the level of effort people are putting in just to take lessons. To attend that one show a year. To attain the ultimate dream of one day owning their very own horses. They want these things so badly already and most of the time, they are more than willing to work hard for them. But, sometimes, hard work isn’t enough. Hard work cannot account for every impairment a person may face. Sometimes you just physically cannot put the number of man hours it takes to level the playing field and allow you the same opportunities as another person. And, it is devastating. It is horrible to be filled with an aching desire to achieve something while being well aware of how unlikely it is currently. It sucks to dream and be aware that unless something massive changes, your desires will remain just that, dreams.

We need to respect these hard working equestrians way more. They are fighting against the confines of circumstance to achieve something in a world that lacks access. A world that requires a fair amount of money just to dip your feet into it. They are likely the ones that are wearing second hand breeches, helmets that aren’t the “in” look right now, the ones riding around on older lesson horses and wearing half chaps at shows that they work their asses off to get to once or twice a year. They are the types of riders that get a lot of flack from the privileged types that choose to judge without recognizing their own head start, they simply frown upon someone not fitting the certain mould they’re used to seeing at showgrounds, around the barn or in social media postings. The last thing these types of equestrians need is to feel further alienated from a world they often feel like they view from a frosted glass window, wanting, but that yearning never being satiated.

So, here is your reminder that it does not take away from your own ambitions and accomplishments to acknowledge where you may have gotten a head start. It is not an attack on the work you put in. It is simply a call to appreciate the circumstances that may have enabled you to get to where you are easier. We all have them, these privileges, and oftentimes, we do take them for granted. Being aware of the advantages that helped propel you ahead, even just a little bit faster, allows credit where it is due to those who are working to overcome more. It opens the doors of the horse world for other people to feel accepted, not judged, when they don’t have a lengthy show career detailing their accomplishments. It allows people to feel heard when they express their frustrations of how hard it can be to advance on a limited income. It helps to reiterate that the work you put in is what matters, not results at a show or the height that you jump. We need to change the tone of the equestrian world because even though I have grown up with privileges that have led to what I have worked incredibly hard to get after said privileges were removed, I still have felt alienated. I have still been told that my efforts as a horse person and validity as a trainer are lesser than, simply because I’ve not been able to drop thousands a year to attend the number of A-shows I would need to in order to compare to those who can do what I cannot. It has taken me a lot of years of personal growth and reflection to come to terms with the fact that a lot of what people on the circuit value holds no real weight in terms of defining someone’s horsemanship and abilities as a rider, it merely just allows them a paper trail of their accomplishments.

So, equestrians, I implore you to self-reflect and level with yourselves on aspects of your life that have made things easier and more attainable for you. We ALL have them, even us who have struggled with many of hardships. We all, in some way, have something that gives us an advantage over someone else. Life isn’t fair and it is never going to be even, but it is weird to perpetuate the idea that hard work trumps all and levels the playing field whilst simultaneously acknowledging the unfairness of life. Life IS unfair and it results in people being dealt a shitty hand of cards and to deal with more than some of us can even imagine and yet, still, these people manage to persevere and maintain the fortitude to overcome their challenges and hold out hope for the future. More so than other sports, equestrian sports demand a certain level of privilege that is fairly abnormal almost anywhere else. It often leads to a skewed sense of self, people not even realizing how fortunate they may be compared to others. It also leads to a feeling of inadequacy if you cannot compare to the “norm” you’re used to seeing around the barn or at equestrian events or while scrolling through social media. It is up to us to acknowledge this more and do our part to be accepting of those not like us and do what we can to help improve access and give more opportunity to those who may struggle to get it.

I am working hard to establish myself as a trainer and business person. I hope to one day own my own plot of land to run a program out of. This is my pipedream, as living in an area where such properties go for millions, seems incredibly unattainable to achieve. But, my hope is to break that so-called “glass ceiling” that will in turn allow me to offer even more opportunities to other.. I know lots of people look at me and my privilege and I acknowledge it, but I will say, even with less resources there is still traction to continue down that hard road, keep on keeping on and don’t give up on your dreams. I could not have accomplished what I have to date without my parents, but also without all of you supporting me on social media, this has allowed me sponsorships and other opportunities that would have never existed otherwise. To be frank, much of the fancy things I have only exist due to my reach on social media. It is humbling. I’m hopeful that equestrian social media will continue to increase access for all and open the doors for more opportunities for financial support as well as the necessary recognition for lesser known, but very talented riders.

All of you on your personal journeys, working so hard to get to where you want to be, I commend you for your efforts and support you along the way. I hope that myself and others can help to lift you over some of the obstacles you may encounter, even if just by way of moral support. I am rooting for you and I hope you all know that you are just as deserving of a place in the horse world, surrounded by your beloved horses, as anyone else, no matter how hard it may seem.